Try to avoid the light known to man as the song “Cherish” by Madonna. I tried to change the song once it came on the iPod but I was paralyzed and the result—I’m ultra chipper!!!!!!
I mean, I went in Starbucks greeting everyone, welcoming new employees, explaining to people that today I’m wearing my “humidity hair” (when no one asked me)…
There is no other excuse for this ridiculousness. I heart Madonna but that song… Avoid it. It causes extreme happiness.
If you see someone in a heavy coat on the hottest day of summer, run in another direction. Swiftly. Unless you want to die from steamy-crunchy-booty-and-who-knows-what-else inhalation.
Lovely (but likes all things creepy) girl: When I die I want to be stuffed and wear a monocle and top hat. You know, I want to be taken places like the guy on Weekend at Bernies. I also want to sit in people’s homes, maybe holding a candy dish. Good idea, right, siege?
If you can’t take honest responses to questions such as Do you like my new hairstyle? The vertical stripes make this dress look slimming, right? or What does my breath smell like? I suggest you stop asking them.
Just because you know how to use a computer doesn’t mean you’re an official DJ.
Real connoisseurs of hip hop know the difference between what’s real, what’s classic—and what’s simply battery-operated.